Sounds of Soul : Indites : Series 16 :
C(aste)ONSERVATIVE INDIAN PARENTS
#Daughters
3 Categories of Indian parents
1. SUPER STRICT ONES:
- Girls school
- Girls college
- No hangouts
- No job
- No posting pictures in social media
- No talking with boys
- Happily ever after with a STRANGER
(They still exist in this 21st century! These restrictive parents are unaware of their extinction in near future🙄)
2. 50% LIBERAL 50% STRICT
- Co-ed school
- Co-ed college
- Yes to job
- Boy friendships within limits
- Big "NO" to love
- Emotional blackmail for arranged marriage
(You can see them almost everywhere!😜)
3. SUPER COOL ONES
- She can live her life on her terms
- She can choose what is best for her
- Supporting her right decisions
(They're as rare as kurinji flower...!🧐)
DEAR SUPER STRICT PARENTS,
• Men don't just constitute your family circle. They are half the nation's population. If she's in co-ed, she would get to grow up with boys which will make her know how they are. She would be able to understand a 'Man' better. Don't create a mystery keeping her away from boys of her age as she's going to live with one!
• You say, if she posts her pictures on social media, it will be misused. But, is it okay to make her wear jewels and pose for pictures, which you circulate among the grooms’ families whom you barely know? Oh, your caste members are so good that they do not misuse but reject her pictures for lame reasons? Why do you restrict first and fetch her disrespect next?
• One day you say, "He's your groom". Her consent? Suddenly the wedding photographer wants her to pose for romantic pictures. The groom stranger puts his hand on her shoulders and waist. Ever known what she felt or was she okay with it? Oh, you told her to give good news within a month or two and you want to see your grandchild sooner? Actually...It's personal!
• Don't cage your daughter. She deserves her OWN IDENTITY. Please be careful while choosing the groom, as one wrong move can lead to an unhappy married life, that could cost her life! She trusts you!
DEAR 50% LIBERAL, 50% STRICT PARENTS,
• You're already half cool, why don't you try to make it to the other half too? If your daughter says she's in love, let her define it, listen to her!
• If the guy is in a decent job, earns a fair amount of salary to run a family and is good by heart, say 'Yes!'. If he seems potential needing some time to settle and your daughter wants to wait, let her! She has not only chosen what is best for her, but also stands before you as you are equally and more important to her!
• Okay you find a groom. He belongs to your caste. His family status and salary satisfies you! Do you get to know their nature to the fullest by enquiring the intermediaries? What if they change their colours? But your daughter knows the person she chose to the fullest. Trust her, if not, know that by yourself. What if you like him...?
• Don't force her to marry the groom you choose. Please don't blackmail your own daughter. You are forcing her to like a life that she has to leave a life she already loves. A part of her dies there. You shouldn't do that to your girl who prioritised you more than her. Leave your high expectations. The caste, status and society is not more important than your daughter's happiness. The bad-mouths will automatically shut seeing a happy couple.
Remember,
- She's not aged as she crosses 20 or 22!
- She's not a burden after 24!
- Don't be anxious when she's 28!
- Her life isn't over when she's 30!
She deserves:
- To study whatever she wants to
- To do higher studies
- To work
- To hang out with friends
- To love
Kudos to the super cool parents out there!!! The country needs more parents like you! You are a true inspiration for creating the best lives for dear daughters!
Love or arranged, 'Marriage' is all about, 'Happily ever after with a good life partner'.
-MONICA SARAVANAKUMAR
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